Why is it so difficult?

Why is it so difficult to stay close to God? Why are there so many things in this world that try to separate the mankind from its Creator? Oh dear Jesus, have mercy on us.

I asked God, "why aren't you helping me?!", and He did not respond.

I received no help in the work that I did. Eventually I finished it, and it was then, when I realized that it was an unnecessary struggle. The work I put so much effort to complete could wait. There was no hurry. It was only me, who thought that I have no time left.

God was wise. I was stupid.

I was watching anime online like always, and the time was approaching 3pm, so I knew I was supposed to pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, but when the clock showed 3:00 PM, I just continued to watch anime, because I had 5 more minutes to the end of the episode. Why pause now?

And after the episode ended, I looked up, and said, "Chill out, God, it's already past 3pm, so it's not a big deal if I pray a little later," and I clicked play button for the next episode.

Then the browser crashed... and it wouldn't reopen.

So I prayed the chaplet, and then went back to watching anime.

Every day God lets me understand how little I know and how much more I need to learn.

"For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." Matthew 23:12

"When man makes plans, God laughs." - proverb.

Even when I cannot feel God's presence anymore, I can be sure that He's still with me.

There are two kinds of people who sing in the church.

Those who concentrate on the words and their meanings.
And those who concentrate on how well they sing.

Most of the time, you can easily tell them apart, because the first group is bestowed with Holy Spirit when their minds become filled with God, and their voice although average has a mysterious resonance of holiness.

While the second group - their voice may sound nice, but it's dry and sounds automatic without any feelings or emotions that you usually hear in every human's voice.

Such a powerful yet ephemeral shine of light.

Such a majestic and pure sound of drums.

How powerful is the God, our Lord, the one who orders thunders to roar.
How caring is the God, our Lord, who commands the thunders into silence.

Every prayer is a constant battle with my own mind.

I lose focus.
I forget the words.
I don't pay attention to what I say.
I think about something completely unrelated.

But I don't give up, because if I stopped praying that would mean I lost the battle that I could have won.

Petrus Romanus is the Pope who will die in Rome as Saint Peter the Apostle did before.

After yesterday's volunteer work my legs hurt all over today morning.

For a moment, I was thinking of skipping mass, but I refused to listen to this bad "thoughts" and went to church. God helped me so greatly the moment the mass started and the pain disappeared and I could kneel down like usual without any problems.

How great and caring is God, our Father to those, who trust Him completely.

God is like the wind.

Those, who obey God ride with the wind.
Those, who disobey God ride against the wind.

Life is like the hill.

Those, who sin ride down the hill - it's easy and fun then they crash.
Those, who do good ride up the hill - it's hard and painful, but it pays off.